My Little Girl

My sister-in-law, Caci, made this adorable announcement.

Is she not the sweetest little thing you've ever seen in your whole life? I love her so much.


Laboring with her was amazing, her delivery was the most empowering experience of my life; I wouldn't change a single thing. I can't wait to write all about it.


Right now, though, I am going to take a little nap while Kjel and her full tummy go spend some time with Daddy and Gage. 

At 40 weeks and 3 days,

I woke up with a broken heart.

I know lots and lots of women carry their babies for weeks after they're officially "due", but my doctor, whom I trust very, very much, felt strongly that we should set the induction date for today at 11:00 AM. So many, many prayers were said that I would go into labor on my own to avoid having to use medical intervention to get little baby girl here, but alas, it doesn't look like I'm going to get there quite on my own.

As of yesterday, I was at a 4, almost completely effaced, contracting about every ten minutes. I went to sleep at about 11:30, and woke up without any contractions.

I so badly wanted this birth to be what I had pictured; actually, I had written the whole thing down in novel format. I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. At the hospital, I wanted to labor in the tub for as long as possible. I wanted lots of things, but then I realized how selfish I'm being.

I am about to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby in a hospital that offers excellent care, with the doctor that not only delivered Gage, but has helped me through the biggest medical trial of my life armed with years and years of medical knowledge and the kind of inspiration that I know only comes from Heavenly Father.

I am in really, really good hands. I have the best labor coach anyone could ever ask for: Steven is just as, if not more prepared for birth than I am. He is already focused this morning, ready to take on the world. I love him so much.

I have the sweetest mom, ever. I wish every child in the world could be hers, because she is the epitome of Christlike love and sacrifice. She'll be there at the beginning and the end, fighting for my wishes to come true regarding how I and the baby are handled. She is amazing.

I am still going to do this without an epidural. I know it's going to be hard, I'm hoping that I can put to use everything that I have learned both in practice and from study over the past year and remember that labor does not have to painful. And even if it is, I have handled pain. I'm not scared of it.

But I'd still really appreciate prayers and thoughts of encouragement. You know what, texts would be awesome too. I operate well under praise :) If you need my phone number, send me an email and someone will send it to you. Is that kind of weird that I'm asking you to text me thoughts of encouragement? Haha, don't judge me! My email address is brookeredfern@gmail.com.

Thanks for all of the support throughout the past nine months, and all of the support before that. Even though we have only been waiting for this baby for a couple of years at most, it feels like so much longer. We are going to meet her in only a few hours; it's surreal.

38 Week Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

My mom is here! Wahoo! Well, not technically here at the moment; she had to go to Utah for some business, but she's been here since Friday and will be here for a few more days. It has been heavenly. She has literally tackled almost every project on my huge list while simultaneously making Gage the happiest child on earth (without the spoiling tactics I've been resorting to the past few weeks). I love her! 


Because so much has gotten done around here, Gage and I felt perfectly at peace with taking a mental health day (i.e., a get nothing productive done day). And it really feels wonderful to just get to spend quality time with my little dude without the company of "you should be getting more done" guilt. 


In accordance with my no-guilt activities today, we decided to make cookies. I love to bake; everything about it, I love. Except clean-up. But even that isn't so bad when you have something delicious in the oven. 

Instead of following a recipe, we made our own. After some trial and error, we created the best cookies (in my opinion, and I think Gage's too, though he thinks every cookie he's eating is the best cookie) ever. Here is what I was aiming for: something dense, rich, chewy, fluffy, chocolatey, with hidden surprises for the taste buds. Oh my word, did we achieve it!


Here is the recipe:

3/4 cup softened butter (you could actually reduce this and be just fine. I will probably go with 1/2 cup next time)

1 cup(ish) of brown sugar

1/3 cup creamy peanut butter

- cream these together, then add:

1 tsp. vanilla

1 large egg

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 TBSP cocoa powder

I forgot to add salt.. teehee. They tasted fine anyway. But next time I'll probably add 1/4 tsp. salt

After it's all mixed together, start adding flour, 1/4 cup at a time. I ended up using about 2 cups.

Add chocolate chips, I used a little over a cup.

Drop rounded spoonfuls of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for about 9 minutes. These won't look quite done, but they will set perfectly if you put them in for the right amount of time. If you do a trial of baking just one or two cookies and experiment to find the perfect baking time, you will not regret it! 

I was so happy with how these turned out - they are fairly crispy on the outside because of the peanut butter, but so very soft and chewy on the inside. Heaven! 

We declared them "38 Week Cookies" and then proceeded to eat 38 each. (Okay, I'm exaggerating, but  only a little).


If you make some, let me know how they turn out for you!


P.S., you will notice that Gage is donning his doggie costume: we watched The Avengers last night and he desperately needed a super hero uniform this morning, so I convinced him that Iron Man's best friend is Doggie Boy, and he has taken on this hilarious alter-ego that runs around barking and licking things while "saving the day!"